Rex Rambler → What is this crazy little thing called, Love?
In my college writing classes, we were instructed that using a definition of a word, as an opening statement is trite, and thus should be avoided. For example, if I were wishing to cover a much debated subject such as LOVE. First warning which comes to mind is, this yet another trite subject. I mean, after all it’s all been said before wouldn’t you suppose?
To go even further into the world of triteness, I subject you to this thought. Define Love. No I don’t intend for you to explain what it feels like, but rather let’s abstract ourselves from the element, and examine the word, LOVE by it’s very literal definition.
Etymology:
Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lēof dear, Latin lubēre, libēre to please
Date: before 12th century1 a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b: an assurance of love 2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
First thing I personally notice, is that although this entry seems definitive , there is still something lacking. I mean we read that love can be a string affection to simply a kinship. A bit ambiguous if you ask me. It would appear that love isn’t so easy to pin down within a pat straight forward definition. For those of you who raise the eyebrow and confirm this statement with a chagrin “you don’t say?”, allow me to explain.
To me the whole concept of LOVE has gotten way out of hand. I mean it seems we live under this constant pressure to find “true love”. I know I am guilty of it. To add to this dilemma, there are other societal pressures. Religion, proclaims itself to be the champion of love, standing above all to announce that it holds the golden key as to the template which started this whole mess to begin with.
Writers of old, still echo throughout our society and have set a standard as to what love is. Shakespeare forever marred our relationships with images of Romeo and Juliet. I should note, this imagery does not sit very well this author, for although I have truly loved, I have no intentions of drinking any poisons, or impaling my heart with any dagger. Those are but two examples of what I deem as the confusion factors. Music is guilty of it as well. Ideologies as to how love is, what love is, and even as far as where love is.
Foreigner sang it best… “I wanna Know What love is” my response? Get in line my friend. Frank Sinatra and his daughter, Nancy sang the perfect interpretation in my opinion. “Something Stupid” A bit jaded, perhaps, but hey let’s be honest, there is nothing more effective in making all of us feel stupid as this whole business of love does.
My whole point is, although the English language is guilty of being complex and evasive in terms of being straight forward, trying to pin a thing such as love down in a term is tough. Love doesn’t simply define itself, it defines all the elements which make up love. Love isn’t one specific emotion but rather a word which defines the emotions we feel.
I have read that in research the behavior patterns of young lovers, are strikingly familiar to that of psychotics. Also there have been clinical studies as to the effects of love, and most certainly the whole love aspect in itself. Science it seems is doing it’s part as much as the artisans, in matters of the heart.
One particular thought is this. Love is perhaps a series of decisions made by the individual, which lead to an ultimate attachment. Whether through situational such as boy meets girl, or conditional, a mother giving birth. Love is actually a choice. Societal pressures do influence our choices, and thus can lead to conflict in our choices. Same sex preferences come to mind here, but that should not be considered the only conflict, after all how many times have we sang songs about the “wrong side of the tracks”?
So what is love? Well I propose that we consider love to be not a singular word, in that it defines an emotion or action, or as a noun, but rather think of the word love as we would the word chemistry, or biology or mathematics. All of these make up a conglomerate of ideas, but still do not rely on any specific part to define the word. Consider this.
If I present the term H2O, you immediately understand that it stands for water. Two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. We also immediately associate this term to chemistry. Does it define chemistry? Another example then, Adenosine triphosphate (ATP) if you recall your biology, you associate this to energy. This may indeed be considered biology but does not define the word. The same goes for mathematics, (2n-3)(2n-3)=y is a polynomial and although is mostly algebra, but is still simply a variation of mathematics, and does not define or represent mathematics as a whole.
So I have taken you deep I suppose, and for that I should apologize, however I won’t. You see, I think we need to seriously consider love. Not in the sense of picking up the cause and once and for all put down this tyrant, no.
I am suggesting that the next time we find ourselves hurting for the loss of love, or it’s devastating failure, we remind ourselves, that although love is a term which is (by design) an all encompassing term. It is none the less,as complex as chemistry, biology, or mathematics. Love can be as simple as arithmetic, 1+1=2 or as mind boggling as the square root of -1. Still if we set all that aside, and focus on the main point, we can see that love (being the multiplicity it is) has perhaps at most three consciously chosen steps.
1) Attraction
2) Affection
3) Attachment
Each one leads to the next. And even more profound, at least to this author, is that each one is a decision we make. We choose. We are responsible for the ultimate attachment. Here is the catch though.
Even though we make a choice in these matters, the result is, we start a cascade of events within ourselves, that in many ways, goes beyond our control. Not too unlike setting a nuclear reactor to go critical mass when you think about it. Once you start that chain of events, there is NO turning back. You release all control to love.
The theater eventually closed it’s doors in May of 1998. The original letters still tower above the building, although they are faded, they still show proof of one of Poplar Bluff’s many beautiful landmarks. 
